It took me a long time to finally make my peace with the fact that we were officially over. We had spent almost an eternity together, so I never thought that this day would ever come. But it came, and you left me. I was left behind, with my entire world becoming unanchored. It seemed like there would be no light at the end of the tunnel. But winter is followed by spring and the spring of my barren heart came too. Though it was a long journey.
If the ones reading this are wondering how I came to that stage. This was my journey.
It Began With Denial
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All my days began with texts from you. You told me that you sat behind me in classes because you loved to take a whiff of my coconut-scented hair. We would go for your poetry meets, where you would recite the poems that you wrote with me as your muse.
How could I forget all that? No, this couldn’t be. You were just angry. I knew it in my heart that you would come back to me. You couldn’t imagine your life without me, you used to say that. So how could you get on in life without me?
So what if someone else had your heart. I knew that you wouldn’t be happy with her. It was just a matter of time before you realized that. I was willing to wait, after all, I had all the time in the world since my life stopped the day you went away.
Then Came Anger
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The wait seemed endless. There was no sign of you coming back. No call, no texts. You were still going to the poetry meets, only now you had a new muse. It seemed to me like I meant nothing to you. You had blocked me on social websites, I couldn’t even look at a picture of you with her.
I could feel myself boiling with rage. You had no right to treat me like that. I wasn’t replaceable. We had something unique and you were devaluing it by roaming around with her.
I Even Became Ready To Compromise
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It had been six months and all I could only think of was those fights that we would have. I decided that maybe it wasn’t that big an issue that you wanted me to stay away from my guy friends. You were just being protective; you cared about me. You knew what went on in guys’ minds and that’s why you wanted me to stay away from them. So what if you wanted to hang out with your friends instead of me? I shouldn’t have been that inflexible. We all need friends after all.
I decided that if you came back to me, I would never nag you like that. I would do everything you asked me to do. If only you would return to me. We had something great, and I wanted to preserve it no matter what the cost.
Then Came The Depression
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By now it had been more than 8 months. Seasons had changed, and so had you. You had decided to not look back and finally that reality was settling in. The glorious future that we had dreamed of, where you would be the shining beacon of literature and I would be your prized muse, was now lying in the graveyard of dreams.
I could feel my faculties losing their power to function, food had no taste for me. I couldn’t get myself to get up from the bed. What would I do even if I did get up? What did I have to look forward to? It seemed like my world had imploded and I couldn’t even put the pieces together. This was when I finally made my peace with the reality of you not coming back.
Finally, I Made It Through
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But this piece of writing about me is finally coming to terms with this emotional upheaval. This I did, but with great difficulty. After a year of our break up, I decided that enough was enough. I had made my life all about you and squandered away its precious gifts. So many had so much less than me, so many were born with deficiencies and still, they enjoyed this gift to the hilt. How could I let one person decide the course of my life?
I came out of my cocoon, began to reconnect with people with whom I had broken all connections because of you. I even started to attend those poetry meets and realized I had missed out on so much because of you. Shut out people, given up my dreams to pursue yours. But no more. I finally accepted my life without you. I realized it had a lot to offer me, if only I gave it a chance to do so. And this was when I finally got over you.
Today, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I am much wiser now than I was ever with you. I know that love is just a part of life, and I can still have a full life without having that in it.
How did you get over your broken heart? Let us know in the comments below.
The post This Is What Getting Over You Really Feels Like appeared first on STYLECRAZE.
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